Are you living your purpose? Do you feel strongly connected to what is important to you? Do you live your life according to your values?
People that feel they have a higher sense of purpose in life are more productive, more resilient, healthier and happier in life, several studies show.
Maybe you also long for more meaning in your life, you have the feeling you miss something but you don’t know what to do. The reason you’re not living your purpose yet, holds the key to getting aligned with your purpose.
That’s why we made a list of 7 reasons why you’re not living your purpose:
- You don’t need a purpose
- You don’t believe in purpose
- You don’t know what your purpose is
- You are not driven enough
- You are afraid of losing something (money, comfort, status, safety)
- You’d rather stay in the shade
- You don’t know how to live your purpose
1. You don’t need a purpose
You have a pretty good life. You have a good job, a nice house, nice friends and a nice family. Actually, you have nothing to complain about. Except maybe that you work a lot, have little time for yourself and occasionally wonder: is this it?
There is one important question you can ask yourself to check if you are getting the most out of yourself in life. Step into the future and remember that you are about 80-90 years old. You are a wise elder and have come to the point where you are going to leave the earth. Feel what you feel when you are that age: what do you see, hear and experience? Now look back at your life, at the person you are now. What advice would you give yourself?
2. You don’t believe in purpose
You may not believe that people are here for a reason and that everyone has their own life mission. Or maybe it’s enough for you to focus and manage to create a good life for yourself.
Then take a look around you; to the trees, plants, bees, flowers, everything gives and receives. Everything has a specific mission. A tree, for example, removes CO2 from the air (with the help of sunlight!) and returns oxygen. Via the wood vessels the tree extracts water with nutrients from the soil and the leaves of the tree become food for insects again in the autumn.
We are also part of this ecosystem and it’s only naturally that we also give and receive from our origin. Just like the tree and every living being in nature.
3. You don’t know what your purpose is
It is not surprising that you do not know what your purpose is, many people have not found it yet or have an idea, but cannot fully capture it in words. Usually you have not found your purpose in an hour. Connecting with your life mission is a process that requires attention. Have you downloaded and my free mini workshop How to Find Your Purpose yet? Did you also do the exercises or did you skip them because you ‘ already knew that’? Finding your purpose is a process, so take your time.
These 7 inspiring podcasts on purpose can also help you in your process.
4. You are not driven (enough) to live your purpose
We humans have a hard time moving. Often we only do something if we really want to achieve something or if we really want to get rid of something.
Moving TOWARDS something
If you want to achieve something, but you don’t succeed, you may not have a vision that’s attractive enough, or no pain that’s big enough. If it’s important enough for us, action will be taken. If you are very attracted to something new, it becomes easier to say goodbye to what we are still (anxiously) clinging to.
Think of the woman who only ends her relationship when she is in love with someone else. Or the man who only dares to quit his job when he has found a new one. Only when you really want to achieve something and it’s more important than what you ‘have’ now, you dare to take the step.
Moving AWAY FROM something
Another impulse for change is when you want to get away from something. That’s usually when something really starts to hurt. A bit of fat on your belly doesn’t matter much, but if you can’t fit in your jeans anymore, than you might think of changing your diet. Or: you’ve smoked your whole life, but only until you get a lung disease, you are willing to stop.
It can work the same way with purpose. Only when you are in touch with your true purpose and you feel how big and important this is to you, you’ll start moving.
Ultimately, it works best if you simultaneously want to go towards something and get rid of something else. So if you really want to achieve something, make your vision very big and attractive and make what you want to go away from very big and unattractive.
Make your vision BIG
For example, if your purpose is to bring out the best in people, than wonder what the world would look like if everyone was the best version of themselves. Don’t be afraid to dream big!
In my vision people would feel better and more meaningful. People would use their talents to make the world a better place, they would be more successful and want to learn from each other. There would be less struggle and balance of power and we would live in a peaceful, including and equal world, in which everyone lives their full potential.
Now make your own vision big. So big that that the spark in you becomes a fire that starts burning.
Than imagine what you don’t want. What if you keep doing what you’re doing now? If you’re not going to live your purpose? What would be the least attractive scenario? Perhaps you would get bored and look elsewhere for distraction. You would feel less fit and less fun for your environment, which would affect your relationships.
Make both these views very big and put them each on one side of a virtual timeline and step on that timeline yourself. Feel where you are now and where you want to move to. What is the first step you can take today towards your attractive vision?
5. You are afraid of losing something.
“If I start living my purpose, I can never make enough money and than we have to move and I don’t want that.”
“If I’m doing what’s really important to me, there’s no room for a relationship.”
“If I start living my purpose, I will be looked at strangely by everyone and I will lose my status.”
Does that sound familiar to you or do you have any other phrases you say to yourself that hinder you from living your purpose? Ask yourself: are these facts or is this the story you are telling yourself?
We humans are constantly looking for what we can lose in our lives and where scarcity can arise, because our brain is constructed that way. This is how we survive and protect ourselves. If you want more than just survival in your life, you will therefore have to make very conscious choices.
According to life coach Tony Robbins everything we do is related to these 6 human needs:
- Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
- Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
- Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
- Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
- Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
- Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others
Everyone ranks these human needs differently and the way you do this says a lot about the person you are. The top four needs in the list above shape our personality, while the last two (growth and contribution) shape our spiritual needs. The first four will give you short term fulfilment, the last two will give you long term fulfilment.
Most of the people are making up stories to meet the first four personal needs with as little risk as possible. But if you want to fulfil the other two needs, you have to take risks.
“If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”
6. You prefer to stay in the shade
“I’m not worth it.” “I’m not smart/strong/good enough.” “I don’t deserve this.” We all have those thoughts from time to time. Thoughts and beliefs that hinder us from achieving our goal.
You may be afraid of failure or of being successful. You may also know deep down that you are a good singer, can help people with problems or write beautiful poems. You keep it only for yourself or your family. But it is the intention that you bring your gift into the world. Just like the tree stores CO2 and the bee pollinates plants. That means standing in the light, which is often more exciting than standing in the shadows.
Step into the light
To step into the light, you have to get rid of your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are beliefs or decisions we make about ourselves or our model of the world that limit the way we live. It are thoughts, opinions and ideas that we believe are true and that prevent us from achieving our goals, following our purpose and living the life we want to live.
These beliefs are unconsciously created based on our interpretations of experiences in the past. And they will be inside the system within our internal world and shape our responses to the external world and opportunities around us.
Get rid of your limiting beliefs
Most beliefs are installed before we are even seven years old. The first seven years of our lives our mind is operating in a low vibrational frequency like hypnosis, so our mind is very adaptive to new beliefs.
Our beliefs – both supportive and limiting – and the stories we and others tell about ourselves have a huge impact on our lives. It’s up to you if you let your beliefs be the reason to stop you to take action or to fulfil your dreams or you change them to empowering beliefs. What do you choose?
Need some help transforming your limiting beliefs? Contact me for a free discovery session.
7. You have found your purpose, but you are not completely living it yet
No one said your living a purpose-full life is easy, otherwise everyone would do it.
If you have transformed your rigs and are completely connected to your purpose and you are not yet able to live your mission, see if you can turn one of these five buttons:
- Mastery. Make sure you are good at what you do. Focus all the time you have to become the best you can on your path to your purpose. Energy flows where attention goes.
- Discipline. Not everything about the path you’ve chosen is probably nice. You need to have discipline and show up every day, also when you don’t feel like it.
- Strategy. If you tried it at times the way you thought it would work, change your strategy. If it doesn’t work again, change your strategy. Keep on changing your strategy until it works.
- Persistence. You will only develop yourself and improve when you fail. Every rejection is an opportunity to grow. No matter what your abilities and talents are, hard work will always prevail. Find people that support you on this path and more important: become your own cheerleader!
- Trust. Do everything you can and put the rest into the universe. Trust yourself and the flow of nature. When you step outside your comfort zone for your higher purpose, the universe will support you in miraculous ways. Just be patient.
Need some guidance? You can contact me for a free discovery session.
